A Mysterious Record of Life

Spirit Journey with The Wise One and The Stars

A spirit journey is a sort of meditation. You go somewhere, experience or do something, and then you return. This meditation can also be called a trance or a visualization. This post is about my latest spirit journey, one I took in tandem with seven other gay witches.

I stretched out on the floor and prepared to clear my mind of thoughts. It so happened that I choose the physical area on the floor of Danny's home such that my head was in the front doorway of his home, that led to the front porch and his front door. It felt like an auspicious (lucky) spot to be in.

Cian's voice started us on our paths, reassuring us as we relaxed our bodies that we would be in just the right place to start our personal spirit journey when it was time to start it. His voice led us down ten steps toward our starting place and once I had arrived there a bell rang.

Donald's voice took over from Cian, and he reminded us of our chosen intention for this journey. We were to meet with the Wise One to communicate and to see and consult the stars.

A figure materialized in the distance. I knew soon who it was, one of my friends and spiritual teachers, DeeDee, who passed from this world on January 2, 2008 exactly one week after my doctor told me that my cancer had returned. I knew that it was DeeDee because of the sari that draped his body. It was very similar to the one that he had given to me. It was yellow with the symbol for Aum on it. We advanced toward each other and embraced and I felt very loved and accepted. Part of me wanted to apologize for not being at his memorial in Kansas City and part of me wanted to apologize for a previous sin of calling he and several other elders the "old guard" on the last occasion that I had seen him. I knew that he had forgiven me for the insult and had taken no offense by my absence at his memorial, so I did not apologize, and instead I expressed my love for him.

He was happy to see me and we began walking together down a famliar path at Camp Gaea that would eventually lead us up to the ridge above where we could observe the stars. Time was compressed as we walked this long path, but eventually we emerged from the wooded path onto the ridge under an open sky full of stars. I began to ask my questions.

First I asked him about this community. I asked him about this group of queer witches that I had shown up to be a part of. "Why did I decide to attend this group here tonight what is this group going to be all about?"

"Well," he said furrowing his brow and thinking of the most obvious answer to my question. Speaking slowly like a school teacher explaining an elementary concept, "You have something to teach them, and you have something to learn from them." The answer seemed so obvious that I was almost embarrassed for asking the question. "And" he continued, "It will give you a chance each month to spend time with people you care deeply about." Images of Donald and Connie flashed in my head. Since the other members of the group are still very new to me, I asked him about each new person and he assured me that each has something unique to teach me. I laughed at myself and agreed that these queer witches probably do have some things to teach me.

Then I turned my next question toward myself personally. "DeeDee, will I be ready for death when it comes to be my time to die?" I asked him looking into his big beautiful kind eyes.

"Oh honey that is so cute," he said, "No one is ever really ready to die." He smiled at me with his honest and kind face.


Portrait by Don Kitz

A great pressure relieving sigh escaped from my lungs and I knew that what he said was true. It was oddly comforting. I didn't have to worry about being ready to die. Someday I will die anyway, unprepared, just like everyone else. I chuckled audibly and thanked him for his Buddha wisdom.

I was about to ask a question regarding one of my sisters, and before I could get the words out he knew what I was asking and he said, "I thought you loved Ganesha. You know you have to finish what you start. You can't just leave this unresolved forever. The way it is now is unfair to you and it is unfair to her. Communicate with her and tell her what you think and more importantly how you feel." I knew this was the right thing to do, I knew it before my spirit vision, but it is so hard to do some things. It was good to hear.

We stared up at the August stars above us. When I saw DeeDee in life, there were always July or August stars above at that place. I wanted to stay there for a long time with him, but in these sorts of things, time is always too short, and before one is ready you hear a voice calling you back to the present.

Donald's voice was reaching me from the room. Donald said that it was time to return and to follow the same path back that we had walked to this place.

DeeDee said, "Don't listen to Donald, let's just take the stairs." So we did take the stairs, right back to where we had first embraced, near the dining hall at Camp Gaea. We hugged each other again, and I told DeeDee how much I appreciated him and how I wish I did not have to go so soon. He smiled big and waved as he floated away and dissolved. I was emerging from my vision now like murky water.

I opened my eyes and I was in the present, in South Minneapolis, in the doorway to Danny's home.

Labels: magic, mystery, spiritual path, stars, witchcraft

JB aka JayBee created this post at 5:09 PM.

Meeting with a Queer Witches Group

I met with a bunch of queer witches tonight. The group had met twice before in the last two months, but it was my first time attending. It was interesting to see the five new faces and two familiar faces. I found the group a bit chaotic at first, but once the circle was cast things seemed to move along just fine.

Connie and Donald from my previous witch class were there, and in addition the group was made up of an additional two women and three men. There were eight of us present and there was one additional member who was absent from the group.

After admiring the host's garden, which I understand is named Tallulah, we went inside and sat around a table. After some chatter, we cast a circle using the "From my heart to your heart the circle is cast" method. We checked in around the table regarding the goings on in our lives.

I was asked to draw a card from a Fey (faery) deck of Tarot cards. I drew the Wisest One, which in most decks is called the Hierophant (or Pope). My sense is that in the Fey deck, he is called the Wise One so that queer buttons do not get pushed, since in our modern world, the Roman Catholic Pope condemns homosexuality and the fey interpretation of the Tarot wants to encourage thinking about this card in a way that is not colored by that negative response.

Another member of the group, Eli, drew another card to help clarify the first card. She drew the Star. I thought this was a very interesting combination. The Star represents a pointer, or a way of finding direction. The cards seemed to be telling us that we had both points of reference to guide us and the wisdom to read those points to move forward.

The group thought that these cards would be good to take into an intention filed spirit journey. I will write about my experience in trance in my next post.

I realize that nine months have passed since I last posted here. Much has happened in my life since then. I have maintained a life of spirit through this time, despite my silence here.

Labels: community, mystery, spiritual path, witchcraft

JB aka JayBee created this post at 12:58 AM.

Twin Cities Reclaiming (Ethel Me')

Let me tell you about a fantastic class that I have been participating in for the last eight or so months. The class (or path) that I have been participating in is facilitated by a man that I have had the benefit of knowing for a few years, we both have attended the Midwest Men's Festival.

I first found out about the group through an email that Donald sent to me containing lots of information. Some of this information is copied below.

Ethel Mé – Twin Cities Reclaiming Community Offerings

Ethel Mé, the priestessing program begun in 2005, by Donald Engstrom/Reese, Paul Eaves and Teri Parsley Starnes has changed form for 2006 - 2007. The words Ethel Mé could be translated from Nordic runes (Ethel) and Sumerian language (Mé) as Clan Magic. It is this magic of the clan that we invoke for our work this year.

We will gather monthly to experience, explore and deepen our clan magic. As last year, we will meet one Saturday a month. Different from last year, there will be three paths offered in the mornings from 9:00 am to noon. [See path descriptions below.] These paths require a year’s commitment from its members... Our meeting dates will be the third Saturday of the month. We ask for a donation for each meeting.

Note: the first gathering will be on Saturday, September 16. In the afternoon, we will have the Fall Twin Cities Reclaiming meeting while we celebrate the season with a harvest feast. We invite those who claim to be Reclaiming witches and those who do not. At this feast, we will talk about how we want to move forward as a community, gathering ideas about our afternoon sessions and any other community concerns.


Elements of Magic Intensive
anchored by Donald Engstrom/Reese

One of the projects Ethel Me’ will present this coming season is a year-long intensive focused on the Elements of Magic. This program will encompass the basics taught in many standard Reclaiming Witchcraft 101 classes. However,we will explore these basics and other topics to a depth not normally allowed for in a shorter Reclaiming introductory session. In this Elements intensive we will look at, among other things, ritual design, daily practice, spell working, trance journeying, the labyrinth, Pagan prayer beads, gender work, the seven sacred voices, and many assorted elemental gifts of the multiverse.

Together we will dare to live awake, aware and with conscious intent. Together we will dare to delve deep within and without, nurturing our relationships with the Mysterious Ones, ancestors and spirits of the Upper Mississippi Valley. Together we will dare to dwell in Beauty, Balance and Delight.

This class will be anchored by Donald L. Engstrom/Reese, who each month will be joined by local and visiting guest teachers.

Participants are expected to commit to attending at least ten of the twelve Elements sessions.

Today we met for our eighth session, and it was again, a wonderful experience. I have been an atheistic mystic for a very long time, called myself a radical faerie for several years, and more recently I have begun to embrace the term "witch." I am learning old and new traditions, and I am tapping into mystery in a new way and with renewed intention.

Labels: community, coven, druid, Ethel Me, faggot god, magic, mystery, nature, witchcraft

JB aka JayBee created this post at 8:54 PM.