Spirit Journey with The Wise One and The Stars
A spirit journey is a sort of meditation. You go somewhere, experience or do something, and then you return. This meditation can also be called a trance or a visualization. This post is about my latest spirit journey, one I took in tandem with seven other gay witches.
I stretched out on the floor and prepared to clear my mind of thoughts. It so happened that I choose the physical area on the floor of Danny's home such that my head was in the front doorway of his home, that led to the front porch and his front door. It felt like an auspicious (lucky) spot to be in.
Cian's voice started us on our paths, reassuring us as we relaxed our bodies that we would be in just the right place to start our personal spirit journey when it was time to start it. His voice led us down ten steps toward our starting place and once I had arrived there a bell rang.
Donald's voice took over from Cian, and he reminded us of our chosen intention for this journey. We were to meet with the Wise One to communicate and to see and consult the stars.
A figure materialized in the distance. I knew soon who it was, one of my friends and spiritual teachers, DeeDee, who passed from this world on
January 2, 2008 exactly one week after my doctor told me that my cancer had returned. I knew that it was DeeDee because of the sari that draped his body. It was very similar to the one that he had given to me. It was yellow with the symbol for Aum on it. We advanced toward each other and embraced and I felt very loved and accepted. Part of me wanted to apologize for not being at his memorial in Kansas City and part of me wanted to apologize for a previous sin of calling he and several other elders the "old guard" on the last occasion that I had seen him. I knew that he had forgiven me for the insult and had taken no offense by my absence at his memorial, so I did not apologize, and instead I expressed my love for him.
He was happy to see me and we began walking together down a
famliar path at Camp Gaea that would eventually lead us up to the ridge above where we could observe the stars. Time was compressed as we walked this long path, but eventually we emerged from the wooded path onto the ridge under an open sky full of stars. I began to ask my questions.
First I asked him about this community. I asked him about this group of queer witches that I had shown up to be a part of. "Why did I decide to attend this group here tonight what is this group going to be all about?"
"Well," he said furrowing his brow and thinking of the most obvious answer to my question. Speaking slowly like a school teacher explaining an elementary concept, "You have something to teach them, and you have something to learn from them." The answer seemed so obvious that I was almost embarrassed for asking the question. "And" he continued, "It will give you a chance each month to spend time with people you care deeply about." Images of Donald and Connie flashed in my head. Since the other members of the group are still very new to me, I asked him about each new person and he assured me that each has something unique to teach me. I laughed at myself and agreed that these queer witches probably do have some things to teach me.
Then I turned my next question toward myself personally. "DeeDee, will I be ready for death when it comes to be my time to die?" I asked him looking into his big beautiful kind eyes.
"Oh honey that is so cute," he said, "No one is ever really ready to die." He smiled at me with his honest and kind face.
Portrait by Don KitzA great pressure relieving sigh escaped from my lungs and I knew that what he said was true. It was oddly comforting. I didn't have to worry about being ready to die. Someday I will die anyway, unprepared, just like everyone else. I chuckled audibly and thanked him for his Buddha wisdom.
I was about to ask a question regarding one of my sisters, and before I could get the words out he knew what I was asking and he said, "I thought you loved
Ganesha. You know you have to finish what you start. You can't just leave this unresolved forever. The way it is now is unfair to you and it is unfair to her. Communicate with her and tell her what you think and more importantly how you feel." I knew this was the right thing to do, I knew it before my spirit vision, but it is so hard to do some things. It was good to hear.
We stared up at the August stars above us. When I saw DeeDee in life, there were always July or August stars above at that place. I wanted to stay there for a long time with him, but in these sorts of things, time is always too short, and before one is ready you hear a voice calling you back to the present.
Donald's voice was reaching me from the room. Donald said that it was time to return and to follow the same path back that we had walked to this place.
DeeDee said, "Don't listen to Donald, let's just take the stairs." So we did take the stairs, right back to where we had first embraced, near the dining hall at Camp Gaea. We hugged each other again, and I told DeeDee how much I appreciated him and how I wish I did not have to go so soon. He smiled big and waved as he floated away and dissolved. I was emerging from my vision now like murky water.
I opened my eyes and I was in the present, in South Minneapolis, in the doorway to Danny's home.
Labels: magic, mystery, spiritual path, stars, witchcraft
Meeting with a Queer Witches Group
I met with a bunch of queer witches tonight. The group had met twice before in the last two months, but it was my first time attending. It was interesting to see the five new faces and two familiar faces. I found the group a bit chaotic at first, but once the circle was cast things seemed to move along just fine.
Connie and Donald from my previous witch class were there, and in addition the group was made up of an additional two women and three men. There were eight of us present and there was one additional member who was absent from the group.
After admiring the host's garden, which I understand is named Tallulah, we went inside and sat around a table. After some chatter, we cast a circle using the "From my heart to your heart the circle is cast" method. We checked in around the table regarding the goings on in our lives.
I was asked to draw a card from a Fey (faery) deck of Tarot cards. I drew the Wisest One, which in most decks is called the Hierophant (or Pope). My sense is that in the Fey deck, he is called the Wise One so that queer buttons do not get pushed, since in our modern world, the Roman Catholic Pope condemns homosexuality and the fey interpretation of the Tarot wants to encourage thinking about this card in a way that is not colored by that negative response.
Another member of the group, Eli, drew another card to help clarify the first card. She drew the Star. I thought this was a very interesting combination. The Star represents a pointer, or a way of finding direction. The cards seemed to be telling us that we had both points of reference to guide us and the wisdom to read those points to move forward.
The group thought that these cards would be good to take into an intention filed spirit journey. I will write about my experience in trance in my next post.
I realize that nine months have passed since I last posted here. Much has happened in my life since then. I have maintained a life of spirit through this time, despite my silence here.
Labels: community, mystery, spiritual path, witchcraft
Words of Power and Images of Nature
Days and months pass by quickly during the warmth of June, July, and August. Meaning, love, friendship and fresh food are abundant when the sun is high in the sky. Summer has been in bloom and I have been cherishing her warm embrace.
I want to share my friend Connie's
Prayer For a Changing World. It left me pondering and speechless. She has been working on this prayer for the past year. Her verses are highly personal and truly hold power within them.
I am honored by our friendship.
This morning, she and I walked the halls of beauty in the
Minneapolis Institute of Art, taking in the world through eyes of Scandinavian artists long dead in A
Mirror of Nature: Nordic Landscape Painting 1840-1910.
Connie reminds me to make choices that include seeing the beauty around me. She challenges me to think and feel and communicate. Friends like this are worth more than gold.
I am honored by our friendship.
Labels: nature, spiritual path
Finding Your Inner Druid: Gardening as a Spiritual Path
I have spent many hours in the past few weeks building and tending the gardens around my home. During that time I have sweat into the earth as I dug and planted and cultivated patches of earth, nurturing some plants and pulling other plants up by the roots.
My cat, normally an indoor lap cat, has been outside, joining me in the garden. She seems aware of primal forces that she is otherwise removed from in her day to day activities. I can relate to her new awareness.
The green life (plants) and the brown life (fungi and bacteria) contain palpable life energy that is invigorating to my mammalian flesh. The dirt beneath my fingertips feels good. The earthy scent of roots and worms is a refreshing change from deodorants and scented fabric softeners. There is something real in my garden, something not contained in digital keystrokes or first person virtual environments. The sun beams light into these fantastic green plants filled with
phytochemicals that quite literally turn light into energy. How do some people forget that these kind of wonders exist around them every day?
The ability to manipulate the soil, to till it and add to the the fertility of a given piece of land by adding compost and other beneficial components to the soil is akin to practicing a living alchemy. Cultivating herbs and food producing plants means that we can again quite literally eat of the fruit of our labor. Even those of us living in the city have the ability to produce more food than we can eat, utilizing the small plots of earth around our homes.
For those of you that live in rural settings this line of thought may seem mundane. "Of COURSE plants are all around us creating food for us," I can hear you saying, "and this is news or something?" For many of us living in the modern urban world, it is really counter cultural behavior to plunge our hands into the earth. We make a conscious choice to grow something other than grass around our homes. The division between those who are part of the cycle of life that produces food and and those that only consume, creates a schism wherein it is possible to see nature as a commodity rather than a sacred rhythm.
I am learning that finding natural rhythms can be easier than I thought possible. It is in the warm humidity of decaying leaves, in the lapping of the water on the riverbank, the waxing and waning of the moon, and in the beat of my own heart when I sit in silence.
The birds and pesky squirrels know that spring time is full of excitement and new life. As summer approaches, I turn my attention toward my garden to help sooth away the stresses of modernity. The ice and snow of last winter are only memories now; the idea of a sterile, white, and ice covered landscape seems ludicrous while touching the verdant ferns and flowering plants around me.
Labels: cat, garden, gardening, life, plants, spiritual path
He was happy to see me and we began walking together down a famliar path at Camp Gaea that would eventually lead us up to the ridge above where we could observe the stars. Time was compressed as we walked this long path, but eventually we emerged from the wooded path onto the ridge under an open sky full of stars. I began to ask my questions.
